Things here at the Baer house are pretty quiet. The girls have been off track for a week now. We haven't done anything TOO exciting. We did go to the Kennecott visitor's center this week. That was pretty fun. The girls liked it anyway, and I haven't been to the new center, so that was fun. And the girls are learning to cross stitch! They are doing a pretty good job, actually. And I forgot how much I enjoy it. There is something about the repetitive stitching that's kind of calming for me. Strange, I know.
Our marriage class is getting a little more interesting. Last week we talked about communication. They broke it up into two weeks, because it's so important. We talked about things that we do that prevent good communication. One is bring critical of our spouse. One is having contempt for our spouse. One is being defensive when we are discussing things. And the other one was stonewalling or withdrawing physically or emotionally from our spouse.
Then we talked about different ways we can improve our communication skills. Actually listening was one =-] Being interested in what your spouse is saying, ask questions, share intentions (when you are bringing up a difficult topic, start by sharing the reason you are bringing it up "I want you to know that I love you and I want us to feel closer to each other...") use "I" statements (start by saying "I get upset when..." or "I feel...when..." instead of saying "You are so irresponsible and make me mad!") agree with the truth (take responsibility for your mistakes and it will calm down and argument...) praise your spouse ("Reminding your spouse (and yourself) that you really admire him or her is likely to have a powerful, positive effect on the rest of your conversation") and clearly state your preferences (sometimes, odd as it seems, our spouses can't read minds...sad but true...)
Anyway, it's been a good class. I guess the best piece of information I have gotten from the class is to pray to see your spouse the way Heavenly Father does. It makes a difference. When we see our spouses with a heavenly, eternal perspective, somehow the fact that he forgets to put the toilet seat down doesn't seem like such a big deal. (Sorry James...!)
Anyway, I hope that everyone is having a good week! I missed seeing you all Sunday, but we will probably be out this weekend. Yay!
3 comments:
Bless your heart James in your house full of girls. But I'm with Heather, put the toilet seat down.
Communication? Who needs all that?
Sharing feelings and getting to know my spouce. Bla, bla, bla, sounds like a queer musical to me.
When I want to communicate to Misty, I say, get in the kitchen and bake me a pie. That'a all the communication she needs from me. We get along swimmingly.
Okay all of that really isn't entirly accurate. We just try to have fun and not make each other mad.
I figure the toilet seat issue isn't that big of a deal. I lift it because I don't want to sprinkle while I tinkle any place where someone's stinkle is going touch. I could leave it down and not be so considerate, then it wouldn't be an issue. :)
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